If you know me, you’re like, “oh god, Lalie has another blog she’s gonna do for a few weeks and then unceremoniously delete and abandon.” If you’re my sister, you are thinking that but times 1,000 because she’s witnessed every single iteration of my blogging “career,” back to my personal dark ages, constantly frustrated by my chronic inability to stand by the things my past self has published on the internet. Which, weren’t all bad, they just didn’t live up to my extremely mean internal critic. Also, people change a lot. I change a lot. I sometimes don’t like feeling pigeon-holed by the weird way we construct our online identities. I don’t know where I fit in this bizarro personal brand stuff, where every hobby and interest I have feels like it has to turn into a side hustle.
Can we just do things for fun again? It’s April 4, 2020, and Covid-19 is raging across my country, locking us into our homes, killing us, demolishing our economy, wracking a lot of us with anxiety and uncertainty. The idea of spending my free time coming up with a side hustle is fucking excruciating and bordering on the insane.
I could never stick to a blog because I always eventually took it too seriously, like I was trying to be a version of myself that was coherent in some way, that stuck to a theme or something. But here’s the thing… nobody is coherent. I have an eclectic set of interests and nowhere to talk about them. I’ll write 8 paragraphs on my Facebook page no one reads, and it’s like, ok, I’m gonna be casting words in the void ANYWAYS, at this point it might as well be a blog. So that I don’t feel like it’s for my friends, it’s just for me, writing words that are fun to write about things that are fun to think about. There’s that saying, “The work will teach you how to do it.” That’s kind of where I’m at right now. Stuff is bad, I have a lot of free time, and writing makes me happy. So, I’m gonna write. Maybe this will just be a coronavirus journal, maybe it will be something I stick to after I go back to my normal routine. IDK, honestly.
Let’s just do this. Just a fun little whim. We’ll see how long the road lasts.